Cthulhu approved since July 2003!

To mangle an old saying, a million monkeys on a million typewriters will produce the screenplays for some really, really awful movies. These are lengthy, in-depth reviews of terribly bad films, from a film geek with too much time on his hands!

As you can tell, I have a thing for old Japanese monster and sci-fi movies. Lately, I have also started delving into American and European movies in a variety of genres, which has been fun. Be warned, these are not little capsule reviews you can read in 30 seconds. These are all extensive, scene-by-scene reviews with lots of details, most running between 5,000 and 10,000 words.

Questions? Insults? Corrections? Comments? Want to have me host your review? Please let me know! nmdecke@hotmail.com

Related topic: My slowly-growing list of Carnage Meters!

B-Movie Site Links! Some of the more obscure but excellent review sites I've found.

WHAT'S NEW HERE?

June 26, 2008: Mike Martinez's latest review is an awesome one. He takes on 1964's Ghidrah, The Three-Headed Monster and kicks its ass. Thanks, Mike!

June 13, 2008: My latest review is now up, of 1980's Virus! This is a longer than usual one, though they all used to be this long back when I first started this site.

May 28, 2008: My latest review is now up, of 1975's TNT Jackson! I'm on fire!

May 26, 2008: My latest review is now up, of 1990's Laser Mission!

THE MOVIE LIST

JAPANESE GIANT MONSTER MOVIES:

Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1956)
Rodan (1956)
Mothra (1961)
King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) Guest review by Mike Martinez!
Godzilla vs. Mothra I (1964)
Ghidrah, The Three-Headed Monster (1964) Guest review by Mike Martinez!
Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (1965)
Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (1966)
War of the Monsters (Gamera vs. Barugon) (1966)
Son of Godzilla (1967)
Destroy all Monsters! (1968)
Destroy all Planets (Gamera vs. Viras) (1968)
Godzilla's Revenge (1969)
Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)
Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)
Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)
Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla I (1974)
Terror of MechaGodzilla (1975)
Godzilla 1985 (1985)
Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla (1994)
Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (1995)
Rebirth of Mothra I (1996)
Rebirth of Mothra II (1997)
Godzilla 2000 (1999)
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)

PEPLUM/HERCULES/MYTHOLOGY/SANTO MOVIES:

Hercules Unchained (1959)
Atlas (1961)
Hercules Against the Mongols (1963)
Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964)
Hercules and the Masked Rider (1964)
Hercules and the Princess of Troy (1965)
Santo in the Vengeance of the Mummy (1971)
Santo versus Frankenstein's Daughter (1972)
Clash of the Titans (1981) Guest review by Mike Martinez!

ZOMBIE/HORROR/OTHER MONSTER MOVIES:

Blood Tide (1982)
Zombi 3 (1988) Guest review by Mike Martinez!

WAR/MILITARY/SPY MOVIES:

A Yank in Libya (1944)
Ski Troop Attack (1960)
Commandos (1968)
Eagles Attack at Dawn (1970)
Black Brigade (1970)
The Disappearance of Flight 412 (1974)
Casablanca Express (1988)
Laser Mission (1990)
The Firing Line (1991)
Danger Beneath the Sea (2001)

POST-APOCALYPSE MOVIES:

The Last Woman on Earth (1960)
The Last Man on Earth (1964)
In the Year 2889 (1967)
Idaho Transfer (1973)
Virus (1980)
2020: Texas Gladiators (1982)
The New Barbarians (1982)
She (1982)
Survival Zone (1983)
Yor, the Hunter From the Future (1983)
Wheels of Fire (1984)
Warriors of the Apocalypse (1985)
Robot Holocaust (1986)
Solarbabies (1986)
Interzone (1987)
The Sisterhood (1988)
Slipstream (1989)
Aftershock (1990)
Raiders of the Sun (1991)
Karate Cop (1991)
Knights (1993)
American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1994)
Terminal Virus (1994)
Body #82 (2005)

CRIME/MAFIA MOVIES:

The Final Comedown (1972)
Death Rage (1976)
Thunder Warrior (1983)
Black Cobra (1987)
Black Cobra II (1988)

KUNG FU/NINJA MOVIES:

Rage of the Master (1971)
Kung Fu: The Invisible Fist (1972)
Blood of the Dragon (1973)
Sister Street Fighter (1974)
TNT Jackson (1975)
Shogun's Ninja (1980)
Ninja Wars (1982)
The Dragon's Showdown (1986)

ODDS AND ENDS MOVIES:

The Great Gabbo (1929)
The Flying Deuces (1939)

SCIENCE FICTION MOVIES:

Unknown World (1951)
Phantom From Space (1953)
Crash of Moons (1954)
Flash Gordon and The Planet of Doom (1954)
Killers From Space (1954)
Warning From Space (1956)
Earth Defense Force (The Mysterians) (1957)
Battle in Outer Space (1959)
The Day the Sky Exploded (1958)
The Amazing Transparent Man (1960)
Assignment: Outer Space (1960)
The Phantom Planet (1961)
Atragon (1963)
Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965)
Journey to the Center of Time (1967)
They Came From Beyond Space (1967)
Latitude Zero (1969) Guest review by Mike Martinez!
Graveyard Tramps (1973)
The War in Space (1977)
Cosmos: War of the Planets (1977)
War of the Robots (1978)
Eyes Behind the Stars (1978)
Star Odyssey (1979)
Endless Descent (1989)
Alien Species (1996)
Laserhawk (1997)

Guest Reviews!

A number of readers have graciously offered guest reviews for the site. Thanks to all of them for contributing to the madness that is the Million Monkey Theater.


Rodan (1956)Bill Hiers!
Beginning of the End (1957)Bill Hiers!
The Mummy (1959)Bill Hiers!
Ultraman: Operation Ultra Number One (1966)Alex Smith!
Godzilla versus the Sea Monster (1966)Bill Hiers!
Island of Terror (1966)Bill Hiers!
War of the Gargantuas (1966)Alex Smith!
The Projected Man (1967)Bill Hiers!
Night of the Big Heat (1967)Bill Hiers!
The Blood Beast Terror (1968)Bill Hiers!
Terror of MechaGodzilla (1975)Bill Hiers!
King Kong (1976)Bill Hiers!
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)Bill Hiers!
Warlords of Atlantis (1978)Bill Hiers!
The Humanoid (1979)The Gonz!
Sheena (1984)Bill Hiers!
Cat's Eye (1985)Bill Hiers!
King Kong Lives (1986)Bill Hiers!
The Blob (1988)Bill Hiers!
The Final Sacrifice (1990)Bill Hiers!
If Looks Could Kill (1991)Bill Hiers!
Godzilla vs. King Gidorah (1991)Alex Smith!
The Pirates of Dark Water, the cartoon series (3 episodes) (1991)Bill Hiers!
Darkly Dawns the Duck (1991)Bill Hiers!
Bucky O'Hare, the cartoon series (5 episodes) (1992)Bill Hiers!
SWAT Kats, the cartoon series (4 episodes) (1993)Bill Hiers!
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)Bill Hiers!
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)Bill Hiers!
28 Weeks Later (2007)Bill Hiers!

End.

Back to my other HOMEPAGE please, for more good stuff.