Bad Movies

Bad Actors

Bad Plots

Bad Cats

And now on to Gabbo's stage show, held in this opulent Broadway theater before throngs of cheering patrons. The simple chair and glasses from his off-Broadway days have been replaced by a gilded baroque Chesterfield chair and cut crystal Champaign goblets. The show itself is pretty good, with more of the same Otto-speaking-independently stuff and Gabbo faking charm and wit when you can tell that he really just wants to scream at everyone and send his Panzers across the Polish frontier.


Gabbo, now dressed like Napoleon III, is poised to rule the world with his stage show.

Once his act is over, he goes back to his dressing room. There, to his pleasant surprise, he finds that Mary has slipped in and arranged his things just like the old days. Gabbo is ecstatic and is determined to not let her go this time. He'll tell her of his love the next chance he gets. Oh, I just know this isn't going to end well for him.

Meanwhile, back on stage we have the showcase musical number of this film, the only one of the six or seven numbers worth mentioning. It has a weird insect theme, with a large spider web of rope set up behind the stage, with dancing girls dressed as bugs high-kicking in unison in the foreground. On the rope web are Mary and Frank, also dressed as spiders in skin-tight glittery costumes. I know, I know, it sounds like a gay burlesque show in South Beach, but it really is much better than it sounds. Mary and Frank come down to the stage eventually and do an extremely impressive dance routine. Mary proves herself to be as flexible as a 11-year old Korean gymnast, contorting and twisting her slim body in ways that you wouldn't think possible for a human being. Frank, for his part, lifts, twirls and dips Mary with graceful fluidity and some ripped bicep muscles. All in all, this number is worth the price of admission.


Spider web!

That over, Mary goes to see Gabbo in his dressing room. Gabbo and her have a very honest and personal discussion about their past and their future. Gabbo is now openly fawning over her, any reservations he once felt about expressing his love have now been replaced by the liberating feeling of delirious attraction. Oddly, it's Mary who begins to pull away the more they talk. It seems that her memories of Gabbo from years ago were better than the reality of him here in person. She just "wants to be friends". Ouch.

Eventually, Mary leaves him and goes back to Frank. We see that they truly do love each other, despite this foolishly rekindled obsession Mary had for Gabbo. Anyone who has been married for any length of time can tell you that things like that happen from time to time, and it's a testament to Mary's moral character that she made the right choice.


Frank and Mary reconcile.

Gabbo is beside himself with sorrow for having lost her again. The cruel stab of fate that led Mary back to him for a brief moment has only made the aching pain he's always had for her that much more intense. Gabbo is in full bore helpless impotent rage mode now, frothing and yelling like Guderian mired down before the gates of Moscow. Not even Otto is safe from his wrath now.


Otto feels his pain.

On stage, the finale goes on without him and Gabbo goes nuts. He storms out on stage, wading through the dancing girls to scream at the audience, "You don't know how to laugh! You don't know how to laugh!". Stage hands have to haul him off as people murmur and gasp.

The manager fires him on the spot, despite all he has done for the theater. Gabbo dejectedly leaves, unceremoniously carrying Otto upside down by one foot. Mary tries to console him, but his mind is so far gone that he just looks right past her. The final scene is poor Gabbo, out in the street, looking forlornly as workmen remove his name from the marquee. Truly a sad end to a once-promising career.


Gabbo faces his uncertain future alone.

All in all not a bad movie, even for a musical. The downcast ending was surprising, but well done. I'd recommend this one, if for nothing more than those cool 1920s flapper girls.

The end.


Puppets freak me out.


Written in June 2007 by Nathan Decker.

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