Carnage Meter for Legolas

Carnage Meter!
Legolas

Legolas Carnage Meter

(fanfare) I am honored to present, The Semi-Official Legolas Carnage Meter! (much rejoicing)

Ah, Orlando Bloom. Where the hell did you come from? Before the Lord of the Rings movies you were probably squeeging windows on some street corner, or working the Tilta-Whirl at the Cobb County Fair, or maybe doing paralegal work. Then you lucked out on your screen test with Peter Jackson. Now, you are making zillions of dollars, jet-setting around the globe filming movies, and banging super-hot actresses. And you have perfect hair. I hate you.

So here is a Carnage Meter for the three Lord of the Rings movies. Let's just see if Legolas is worth all the sicko fanclubs and Yahoo Groups devoted to his wig-wearing, make-up-plastered, stuntman-doubling-the-hard-parts, fake-elf-eared ass.

Standard Note: I am going to separate kills from woundings, though what constitutes a wound is debatable. Any puncture or slashing from a edged weapon or a projectile on an Orc will likely prove fatal, even if it takes a while. There are no MASH units in the Orc Army and they tend to eat their own wounded anyway. Even, so, if I can't be sure that a solid kill was made (such as a punch to the face or an arm hit), then I will count it only as a wound. On the occasions that multiple people engage a target, such as a Cave Troll, if a character gets a hit, but does not directly cause the death of the creature, then I will give him a wound credit. With the frenetic nature of the fighting in this movie, I might miss a kill or two, or more probably count a kill as a wound. This is the best I can do so be happy.

THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (2001):