Million Monkey Theater

This is my "James Bond Carnage Meter", where I will be giving you some vital stats from the Bond movies. I've watched most of them and it has always amazed me how much death and destruction one man can cause. So, I've decided to try and put some actual hard numbers to his mayhem. These are only confirmed, on-camera kills caused directly by the man himself, not guesses, and not woundings or superficial damage. I will surely have some trouble assigning nationality to some of the victims, and I suppose I'll use the catch-alls "henchmen" and "international terrorist" often. This may take some time, as I have to rent them all one at a time, but hopefully in the end this will be worth it...

Go back to my Million Monkey Theater for more good stuff, please and thank you.

Die Another Day (2002 Pierce Brosnan)
Bond first goes to the DMZ between North and South Korea...
Destroys 1 North Korean Army large hovercraft
Destroys 3 North Korean Army small hovercrafts
Destroys 1 North Korean Army jeep
Destroys 1 Porsche coupe
Kills 1 North Korean gemologist
Kills 8 North Korean soldiers
Bond then goes to Iceland...
Destroys 1 Jaguar XJ-8 coupe
Destroys 2 henchmen snowmobiles
Kills 1 North Korean militant terrorist
Kills 2 henchmen
Bond then goes into the air over the Korean peninsula...
Destroys 1 Lamborghini coupe
Destroys 1 Ferrari coupe
Kills 1 North Korean evil militant terrorist
Kills 1 henchman technician
Kills 3 North Korean soldiers

The World is Not Enough (1999 Pierce Brosnan)
Bond first goes to Bilbao, Spain...
Kills 1 Swiss henchman
Bond then goes to London, England...
Destroys 1 terrorist speed boat
Bond then goes to Azerbaijan...
Shoots down 2 UH-1 Iriquois helicopters owned by British company
Destroys 2 Russian paraglider/snowmobiles (cool!)
Kills 2 Russian assassins
Kills 4 henchmen
Kills 1 British evil oil baroness/terrorist
Bond then goes to Kazakhstan...
Kills 3 Russian henchmen
Bond then goes to Istanbul, Turkey...
Sinks 1 Russian Victor III class nuclear attack submarine
Kills 6 Russian henchmen
Kills 1 Russian evil terrorist leader

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997 Pierce Brosnan)
Bond first goes to "a terrorist arms bazaar on the Russian border"...
Shoots down 1 Russian L-39 Albatross jet fighter
Destroys 1 Chinese Long March Scud missile and launcher vehicle
Destroys 1 Russian MLRS vehicle (maybe)
Destroys 1 Russian van armed with twin radar-guided gatling guns (more cool!)
Destroys 1 Russian gasoline tanker truck
Destroys 1 Russian jeep
Kills 2 Russian jet fighter pilots
Bond then goes to Hamburg, Germany...
Destroys 1 Cadillac sedan
Destroys 1 Volvo station wagon
Kills 2 German security guards
Kills 1 German assassin
Bond then goes to Vietnam...
Shoots down 1 terrorist Eurocopter 350B A-Star helicopter
Kills 2 terrorist helicopter pilots
Kills 4 henchmen
Bond then goes to the South China Sea...
Sinks 1 terrorist stealth boat
Kills 1 American evil terrorist media kingpin
Kills 1 German henchman
Kills 9 terrorist sailors

Goldeneye (1995 Pierce Brosnan)
Bond first goes to the "Arkangel Chemical Weapons Facility" in Russia...
Destroys 1 Russian Army motorcycle
Kills 8 Russian Army soldiers
Bond then goes to Saint Petersburg, Russian...
Destroys 1 Russian Army Armored command train
Destroys 1 Russian Army T-80 tank
Destroys 3 local police cars
Destroys 1 civilian semi-trailer
Destroys 1 civilian sedan
Kills 11 Russian Army soldiers
Kills 4 local policemen
Bond then goes to Cuba...
Shoots down 1 Eurocopter 355 TwinStar helicopter in Cuban Military markings
Kills 2 Cuban Army helicopter pilots
Kills 2 Cuban Army soldiers
Kills 5 henchmen technicians
Kills 1 Russian henchwoman
Kills 1 British former 00 agent gone bad

License to Kill (1989 Timothy Dalton)
Bond first goes to the Florida Keys...
Kills 1 American police officer gone bad
Kills 2 American security guards
Kills 1 American scuba diver
Kills 1 henchman
Bond then goes to the Bahamas...
Kills 1 henchman
Bond then goes to "Isthmus City", a fictional South American country, though dialogue and such pretty much peg it as Colombia
Destroys 2 drug runner semi-tractors
Destroys 4 drug runner semi-trailers
Destroys 1 drug runner Jeep
Destroys 1 drug runner Dodge Ram pickup truck
Kills 3 drug runners
Kills 1 evil drug kingpin

The Living Daylights (1987 Timothy Dalton)
Bond first goes to Gibraltar...
Destroys 1 British Army Land Rover
Kills 1 assassin
Bond then goes to Bratislava, Slovakia...
Destroys 3 Czech police cars
Destroys 1 Czech semi-trailer
Bond then goes to Afghanistan...
Crashes 1 Russian Army C-130 Hercules transport plane made up to look like an Antonov
Destroys 2 Afghan Army Panhard AML-90 armored cars
Blows up 1 Afghan suspension bridge
Kills 6 Afghan Army soldiers
Kills 1 arms runner/assassin
Bond then goes to Tangier, Morocco...
Kills 1 American evil arms runner kingpin

A View to a Kill (1985 Roger Moore)
Bond first goes to Siberia...
Shoots down a MBB Bo-105 helicopter in Russian Military markings
Kills 2 Russian helicopter pilots
Bond then goes to Paris, France...
Destroys 1 French taxi cab
Bond then goes to San Francisco, California...
Kills 1 British evil industrialist/terrorist

Never Say Never Again
Coming...

Octopussy
Coming...

For Your Eyes Only
Coming...

Moonraker (1979 Roger Moore)
Bond first ends up in the air "somewhere over Africa"...
Kills 1 assassin/pilot
Bond then goes to Southern California...
Kills 1 henchman
Bond then goes to Venice, Italy...
Kills 1 assassin
Bond then goes to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil...
Kills 1 henchman
Bond then goes to the Amazon River basin of Brazil...
Sinks 2 terrorist speed boats
Kills 7 terrorist henchmen
Bond then goes into outer space!...
Kills 1 evil terrorist/space tycoon

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977 Roger Moore)
Bond first goes to Austria...
Kills 1 Russian spy
Bond then goes to Cairo, Egypt...
Kills 1 assassin
Bond then goes to Sardinia...
Shoots down 1 terrorist Bell Jet Ranger 206 helicopter
Destroys 1 terrorist Ford sedan
Destroys 1 terrorist jeep
Destroys 1 terrorist motorcycle
Kills 1 terrorist helicopter pilot
Kills 2 terrorist scuba divers
Kills 6 terrorist sailors
Kills 4 henchmen
Kills 1 evil international terrorist kingpin

The Man With the Golden Gun (1974 Roger Moore)
Bond first goes to Bangkok, Thailand...
Sinks 1 Thai powerboat
Bond then goes to an island off the Chinese coast...
Kills 1 evil international assassin

Live and Let Die (1973 Roger Moore)
Bond first goes to "San Monique" an island in the Caribbean. Probably fictional but filmed in Jamaica...
Destroys 1 local tour bus
Kills 1 local citizen
Kills 2 local voodoo witchdoctors
Kills 1 voodoo drug kingpin
Bond then goes to southern Louisiana...
Destroys 1 Louisiana State Wildlife Department speed boat
Destroys 1 civilian piper light plane
Kills 1 American henchman

Diamonds Are Forever
Coming...

On Her Majesty's Secret Service
Coming...

You Only Live Twice (1967 Sean Connery)
Bond first goes to Tokyo, Japan...
Kills 4 Japanese assassins
Kills 1 Japanese security guard
Bond then goes to Kobe, Japan...
Kills 3 Japanese dockworkers
Bond then goes to "Matsu Island", a Japanese territory...
Blows up 1 terrorist spacecraft
Shoots down 4 terrorist Kawasaki/Bell 47G-3 helicopters
Kills 4 Japanese terrorist pilots
Kills 2 terrorist astronauts
Kills 1 Japanese terrorist scientist
Kills 6 Japanese terrorist guards
Kills 1 SPECTRE henchman

Thunderball
Coming...

Goldfinger (1964 Sean Connery)
Bond first goes to some unnamed banana-producing country in South America...
Kills 1 assassin
Bond then goes to Switzerland...
Destroys 1 henchman Cadillac sedan
Kills 5 Korean henchmen
Bond then goes to Fort Knox, Kentucky...
Kills 1 Korean henchman

From Russia With Love (1963 Sean Connery)
Bond first goes to a "Gypsy camp" near Istanbul, Turkey...
Kills 3 Bulgarian henchmen
Bond then goes to northern Yugoslavia...
Shoots down 1 SPECTRE Hiller UH-12 helicopter
Kills 1 SPECTRE Russian assassin
Kills 2 SPECTRE helicopter pilots
Bond then goes out onto the northern Adriatic Sea...
Sinks 3 SPECTRE speed boats
Kills 11 SPECTRE henchmen

Doctor No (1962 Sean Connery)
Bond first goes to Jamaica...
Kills 1 British geologist/SPECTRE agent
Bond then goes to "Crab Key" near Jamaica...
Kills 1 local soldier

the end for now...