Carnage Meter!
Han Solo
Following the success of my James Bond, John Rambo and Aragorn Carnage Meters, I present my Han Solo Carnage Meter. Woo-hoo!
Han Solo is the rakishly handsome space mercenary, smuggler pilot and rebel leader of the three Star Wars movies. With his blaster and his smirk, Solo was the bain of the Empire and the hero of all us desperately geeky sci-fi geeks.
Go back to my Million Monkey Theater for more good stuff, please and thank you.
STAR WARS EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE (1977)
In Mos Eisely Spaceport:
On the Death Star:
Escaping from the Death Star:
In the final attack on the Death Star:
STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980)
On the planet Hoth:
In the Asteroid Field:
STAR WARS EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE JEDI (1983)
On the planet Tatooine:
On the planet Endor, before the big battle:
On the planet Endor, during the big battle:
TOTALS
Kills 2 Imperial Pilots
And so you can see that Han Solo is a bucket full o'whupass. Hmm...now that I've watched these three movies more closely, it seems like Princess Leia might have had even larger carnage numbers than Han... might have to look into that. If for no other reason than that slave girl outfit...
Document written in December 2004 by Nathan Decker
Kills Greedo the Bounty Hunter
Perhaps kills 2 Imperial Stormtroopers (hard to tell if they were killshots or not)
Kills 1 Imperial Imperial Officer
Kills 3 Imperial Detention Cell Guards
Kills 3 Imperial Stormtroopers
Perhaps kills 1 Imperial Detention Cell Officer (either he or Luke)
Perhaps kills 1 Imperial Detention Cell Guard (either he or Luke)
Perhaps kills 2 Imperial Stormtroopers (they go into the Falcon but they don't come out)
Perhaps kills 2 Imperial Scanner Technicians (they go into the Falcon but they don't come out)
Destroys 2 Imperial TIE fighters
Kills 2 Imperial Fighter Pilots in those TIEs
The Falcon shoots down 1 Imperial TIE fighter (he might have pulled the trigger, or might not have)
The Falcon kills 1 Imperial Fighter Pilot in that TIE (again, he might have been the cause)
Gun on the Falcon kills 3 Imperial Stormtroopers (he might have pulled the trigger himself, or might not have)
Kills 1 taunton (by taking it out in the cold)
Destroys 1 Imperial Probe Droid
Injures 1 Big-Ass Space Worm (the blaster shot into the mouth)
Kills 1 mynock
Kills Boba Fett the Bounty Hunter (knocks him into the sarlak)
Injures 1 sarlak (shot one of it's arms)
Kills 1 Imperial Officer
Injures 1 Imperial Stormtrooper (in a fist fight in the woods)
Kills 4 Imperial Stormtroopers
Injures 2 Imperial Stormtroopers (with some fisticuffs)
Assists in blowing up a shield generator bunker (helps set charges)
Maybe kills 1 more Imperial Pilot
Kills 2 Imperial Officers
Kills 7 Imperial Stormtroopers
Maybe kills 7 more Imperial Stormtroopers
Injures 3 Imperial Stormtroopers
Perhaps kills 1 Imperial Detention Cell Officer
Kills 3 Imperial Detention Cell Guards
Perhaps kills 1 Imperial Detention Cell Guard
Perhaps kills 2 Imperial Scanner Technicians
Kills 2 Bounty Hunters
Kills 1 taunton
Kills 1 mynock
Injures 1 Big-Ass Space Worm
Injures 1 sarlak
Shoots down 2 Imperial TIE fighters
Maybe shoots down 1 more Imperial TIE fighter
Destroys 1 Imperial Probe Droid
Assists in blowing up a shield generator bunker