Million Monkey Theater

To mangle an old saying, a million monkeys on a million typewriters will produce the screenplays for some really, really awful movies. These are lengthy, in-depth reviews of terribly bad films, from a film geek with too much time on his hands!

As you can tell, I have a thing for old Japanese monster and sci-fi movies. Lately, I have also started delving into American and European movies in a variety of genres, which has been fun. Be warned, these are not little capsule reviews you can read in 30 seconds. These are all extensive, scene-by-scene reviews with lots of details, most running between 5,000 and 10,000 words.

Questions? Insults? Corrections? Comments? Want to have me host your review? Please let me know! nmdecke@hotmail.com

Related topic: My slowly-growing list of Carnage Meters!

B-Movie Site Links! Some of the more obscure but excellent review sites I've found.

WHAT'S NEW HERE?

May 9, 2008: My latest review is now up, of 1973's Blood of the Dragon! I'm done with kung fu movies for now, ok?

May 6, 2008: My latest review is now up, of 1972's Kung Fu: The Invisible Fist!

May 2, 2008: My latest review is now up, of 1989's Endless Descent!

April 29, 2008: Back from the dead to post my latest review, of 1983's Yor, the Hunter From the Future!

April 22, 2008: Mike Martinez has provided screen caps for my old review of 1967's Son of Godzilla. Thanks, Mike, even if you are keeping the pics of Saeko in a bikini for yourself...

April 16, 2008: Mike Martinez has sent along his latest guest review, of 1969's Latitude Zero! Thanks as always, Mike!

THE MOVIE LIST

Godzilla, King of the Monsters (1956)
Rodan (1956)
Mothra (1961)
King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962) Guest review by Mike Martinez!
Godzilla vs. Mothra I (1964)
Godzilla vs. Monster Zero (1965)
Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (1966)
War of the Monsters (Gamera vs. Barugon) (1966)
Son of Godzilla (1967)
Destroy all Monsters! (1968)
Destroy all Planets (Gamera vs. Viras) (1968)
Godzilla's Revenge (1969)
Godzilla vs. Hedorah (1971)
Godzilla vs. Gigan (1972)
Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973)
Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla I (1974)
Terror of MechaGodzilla (1975)
Godzilla 1985 (1985)
Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla (1994)
Godzilla vs. Destoroyah (1995)
Rebirth of Mothra I (1996)
Rebirth of Mothra II (1997)
Godzilla 2000 (1999)
Godzilla vs. Megaguirus (2000)

Hercules Unchained (1959)
Atlas (1961)
Hercules Against the Mongols (1963)
Hercules and the Tyrants of Babylon (1964)
Hercules and the Masked Rider (1964)
Hercules and the Princess of Troy (1965)
Santo in the Vengeance of the Mummy (1971)
Santo versus Frankenstein's Daughter (1972)

Blood Tide (1982)
Zombi 3 (1988) Guest review by Mike Martinez!

A Yank in Libya (1944)
Ski Troop Attack (1960)
Commandos (1968)
Eagles Attack at Dawn (1970)
Black Brigade (1970)
The Disappearance of Flight 412 (1974)
Casablanca Express (1988)
The Firing Line (1991)
Danger Beneath the Sea (2001)

The Last Woman on Earth (1960)
The Last Man on Earth (1964)
In the Year 2889 (1967)
Idaho Transfer (1973)
2020: Texas Gladiators (1982)
The New Barbarians (1982)
She (1982)
Survival Zone (1983)
Yor, the Hunter From the Future (1983)
Wheels of Fire (1984)
Warriors of the Apocalypse (1985)
Robot Holocaust (1986)
Solarbabies (1986)
Interzone (1987)
The Sisterhood (1988)
Slipstream (1989)
Aftershock (1990)
Raiders of the Sun (1991)
Karate Cop (1991)
Knights (1993)
American Cyborg: Steel Warrior (1994)
Terminal Virus (1994)
Body #82 (2005)

The Final Comedown (1972)
Death Rage (1976)
Thunder Warrior (1983)
Black Cobra (1987)
Black Cobra II (1988)

Rage of the Master (1971)
Kung Fu: The Invisible Fist (1972)
Blood of the Dragon (1973)
Sister Street Fighter (1974)
Shogun's Ninja (1980)
Ninja Wars (1982)
The Dragon's Showdown (1986)

The Great Gabbo (1929)
The Flying Deuces (1939)

Unknown World (1951)
Phantom From Space (1953)
Crash of Moons (1954)
Flash Gordon and The Planet of Doom (1954)
Killers From Space (1954)
Warning From Space (1956)
Earth Defense Force (The Mysterians) (1957)
Battle in Outer Space (1959)
The Day the Sky Exploded (1958)
The Amazing Transparent Man (1960)
Assignment: Outer Space (1960)
The Phantom Planet (1961)
Atragon (1963)
Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965)
Journey to the Center of Time (1967)
They Came From Beyond Space (1967)
Latitude Zero (1969) Guest review by Mike Martinez!
Graveyard Tramps (1973)
The War in Space (1977)
Cosmos: War of the Planets (1977)
War of the Robots (1978)
Eyes Behind the Stars (1978)
Star Odyssey (1979)
Endless Descent (1989)
Alien Species (1996)

Guest Reviews!

A number of readers have graciously offered guest reviews for the site. Thanks to all of them for contributing to the madness that is the Million Monkey Theater.

Rodan (1956)Bill Hiers!
Beginning of the End (1957)Bill Hiers!
The Mummy (1959)Bill Hiers!
Ultraman: Operation Ultra Number One (1966)Alex Smith!
Godzilla versus the Sea Monster (1966)Bill Hiers!
Island of Terror (1966)Bill Hiers!
War of the Gargantuas (1966)Alex Smith!
The Projected Man (1967)Bill Hiers!
Night of the Big Heat (1967)Bill Hiers!
The Blood Beast Terror (1968)Bill Hiers!
Terror of MechaGodzilla (1975)Bill Hiers!
King Kong (1976)Bill Hiers!
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)Bill Hiers!
Warlords of Atlantis (1978)Bill Hiers!
The Humanoid (1979)The Gonz!
Sheena (1984)Bill Hiers!
Cat's Eye (1985)Bill Hiers!
King Kong Lives (1986)Bill Hiers!
The Blob (1988)Bill Hiers!
The Final Sacrifice (1990)Bill Hiers!
If Looks Could Kill (1991)Bill Hiers!
Godzilla vs. King Gidorah (1991)Alex Smith!
The Pirates of Dark Water, the cartoon series (3 episodes) (1991)Bill Hiers!
Darkly Dawns the Duck (1991)Bill Hiers!
Bucky O'Hare, the cartoon series (5 episodes) (1992)Bill Hiers!
SWAT Kats, the cartoon series (4 episodes) (1993)Bill Hiers!
Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)Bill Hiers!
Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)Bill Hiers!
28 Weeks Later (2007)Bill Hiers!

End.

Back to my other HOMEPAGE please, for more good stuff.